Right now I feel like dozens of nights of going to sleep really late at night is all coming unto me at this one particular night. I got seriously tired around 5pm and I took a serious nap. I woke up still feeling tired. I really need to take more naps or stop going to sleep so late. Although, knowing Andy, he would want me to take more naps.
The Oscars were last night and we had a program in the TV room, but setting up for it was killer and then, I realized how much really don't relax during situations, which is a huge flaw in my life. I guess I do get flustered and stressed over jobs and duties that I have to do in my life. I have always been told to relax and I really should. I just get caught up in the moment and focus on the little things instead of the big picture. I get it from my dad. If I do become an RA I really have to work on that.....
Monday, February 26, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
It Has Begun....
As of this moment Lent has begun, and guess what I have given up......MOVIES!!!!! That's right, I am officially rehabilitating myself from my overbearing love of movies. It took loads and loads of contemplation for me to come to this decision since I have never done anything like this before. This has to be the greatest thing that I have ever given up during Lent, and I am going to stick to this no matter what. Here are the terms:
The days that I am not going to watch movies are monday thru friday and since Lent is null and void on the weekend, I am only going to be able to watch two but my goal is to abstain completely. I am only going to watch two if it is only necessary.....I hope...
I believe that Lent helps me gain a closer relationship with God and for the past couple of years I have been taking it for granted and not really celebrating it to the fullest extent to the point where I almost stopped practicing it. Also, I give up something trivial just for the sake of it and it doesnt do anything for me. So, I feel that this Lent will be a turning point in my relationship with God.
It will be hard, Im not going to lie, and despite what others think, I believe that I can do this. I feel that I have broken the 1st Commandment which is Thou Shalt Not Have Any gods Before Me. In my spare time I will discover new things that interest me so that I can come out of my bubble of being invested into one interest. By doing this, I feel that I will have closer relationship with God because I am putting Him first which will, hopefully, teach me a lifelong goal....
The days that I am not going to watch movies are monday thru friday and since Lent is null and void on the weekend, I am only going to be able to watch two but my goal is to abstain completely. I am only going to watch two if it is only necessary.....I hope...
I believe that Lent helps me gain a closer relationship with God and for the past couple of years I have been taking it for granted and not really celebrating it to the fullest extent to the point where I almost stopped practicing it. Also, I give up something trivial just for the sake of it and it doesnt do anything for me. So, I feel that this Lent will be a turning point in my relationship with God.
It will be hard, Im not going to lie, and despite what others think, I believe that I can do this. I feel that I have broken the 1st Commandment which is Thou Shalt Not Have Any gods Before Me. In my spare time I will discover new things that interest me so that I can come out of my bubble of being invested into one interest. By doing this, I feel that I will have closer relationship with God because I am putting Him first which will, hopefully, teach me a lifelong goal....
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Single Awareness Day(SAD)!!!.....
No, seriously, Happy Valentine's Day everyone. May that special someone really know and understand how you feel....
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Connections....once again....
I had my first Black History Program at Clark on last Wednesday. It was at 7pm in the tv room and it was a discussion panel on every thing to do with racial issues now and in the past. It was crazy. It was sooo hard to contain everyone because everyone had something to say about everything. It lasted until 1130pm!!! Amazing, I know!!!
Anyway, after that program I began to reevaluate the way I perceive my life and try to really notice the way people perceive me. Some of the ways that I have noticed about my life are good and of course some are bad. The way others perceive me is different because there is more bad than good.
Well, at Clark I am perceived and known as the "movie guy" and nothing else. The fact is that throughout most of my life I have been known as that. It grows on you in both a good way and a bad way. People can always count on you when it comes movies and entertainment, although, that is all that they can count on you for because that is all that they think is our purpose.
people have different purposes and interests on this earth and most people have more than one. I am afraid that I think I have just one. I am afraid that this is going to be the only thing in my life that people are going to know me for and it is scary. I can not connect with people in any other way. Basically, I need a life....
In a way, it seems that I am jealous of those around me and I use the term "jealous" very loosely because I just sometimes yearn to have and experience what they have experienced since I have not done much outside of my own one interest.
Well, the real reason I am writing this is that yesterday a friend and I were hungry but I had a meeting to go to and told him that I would call him once i get out. So I do and he is already eating. The thing is, he seems to do stuff like this a lot. Its not just him, but its like that with a lot of my friends making it seem that I don't have the connection that I should if I am their friend. I dont know, maybe I'm not being a good friend.
There are barriers that I feel that I cant get around because I am one of the few people that are black, has an interest outside of sports, and hangs out with other races more often. I guess some people are still not used to a black man hanging out with you. I am mad at my friend but we are only human and I shouldnt concentrate on little problems and look at the big picture: at least he is my friend. The full connection may not be there, but he still is my friend.
Despite it all, I still pray, and I pray for that day when I will be seen by all for more than what they think interests me. My interest does not completely shape who I am.....
Anyway, after that program I began to reevaluate the way I perceive my life and try to really notice the way people perceive me. Some of the ways that I have noticed about my life are good and of course some are bad. The way others perceive me is different because there is more bad than good.
Well, at Clark I am perceived and known as the "movie guy" and nothing else. The fact is that throughout most of my life I have been known as that. It grows on you in both a good way and a bad way. People can always count on you when it comes movies and entertainment, although, that is all that they can count on you for because that is all that they think is our purpose.
people have different purposes and interests on this earth and most people have more than one. I am afraid that I think I have just one. I am afraid that this is going to be the only thing in my life that people are going to know me for and it is scary. I can not connect with people in any other way. Basically, I need a life....
In a way, it seems that I am jealous of those around me and I use the term "jealous" very loosely because I just sometimes yearn to have and experience what they have experienced since I have not done much outside of my own one interest.
Well, the real reason I am writing this is that yesterday a friend and I were hungry but I had a meeting to go to and told him that I would call him once i get out. So I do and he is already eating. The thing is, he seems to do stuff like this a lot. Its not just him, but its like that with a lot of my friends making it seem that I don't have the connection that I should if I am their friend. I dont know, maybe I'm not being a good friend.
There are barriers that I feel that I cant get around because I am one of the few people that are black, has an interest outside of sports, and hangs out with other races more often. I guess some people are still not used to a black man hanging out with you. I am mad at my friend but we are only human and I shouldnt concentrate on little problems and look at the big picture: at least he is my friend. The full connection may not be there, but he still is my friend.
Despite it all, I still pray, and I pray for that day when I will be seen by all for more than what they think interests me. My interest does not completely shape who I am.....
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Awkward.....
I recently helped my friend Janna with a school project where she had to come up with an imaginary product that she could sell to others like an infomercial. So we both got to thinking and all of a sudden I came up with the perfect product.....Awkward-Away: It would help people not have awkward moments or conversations. That always happens to me. I dont know why, I guess I just cant talk to people even friends without having some kind of awkward moment. Anyway, Janna loved it and decided to use it.
But, Im focusing on the fact that I have sooo many awkward moments in my life that I guess it has just grown on me. Living at Clark I am constantly surrounded by friends so for me I guess its hard to talk to everyone. I am in a crowded room with bunches of people that I know and they all are talking to one another and have things to say and I have nothing to say. I mean I want to say something, I just dont know what. This also constitutes my lack of female relationship status. It sucks!!!!
For me, to have a conversation means that it has revolve around some form of entertainment, in my case, movies. It gets tedious after so many years and I yearn to relate to other things but I feel that I missed out on certain things that everyone else has experienced. Every time a friend of mine starts a conversation with another that is interesting, common knowledge, or just a funny topic, I just say to myself why cant I think of stuff like that to talk about. Im sure Im not the only one who has these problems. Talk to my friend Janna she has a product that can help you.....
But, Im focusing on the fact that I have sooo many awkward moments in my life that I guess it has just grown on me. Living at Clark I am constantly surrounded by friends so for me I guess its hard to talk to everyone. I am in a crowded room with bunches of people that I know and they all are talking to one another and have things to say and I have nothing to say. I mean I want to say something, I just dont know what. This also constitutes my lack of female relationship status. It sucks!!!!
For me, to have a conversation means that it has revolve around some form of entertainment, in my case, movies. It gets tedious after so many years and I yearn to relate to other things but I feel that I missed out on certain things that everyone else has experienced. Every time a friend of mine starts a conversation with another that is interesting, common knowledge, or just a funny topic, I just say to myself why cant I think of stuff like that to talk about. Im sure Im not the only one who has these problems. Talk to my friend Janna she has a product that can help you.....
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