Destiny....

Everyone questions what their destiny is and if you knew me very well you would know that I have questioned that for more than half my life so far. I have always wondered what God had in store for me in the past by the choices I made back then. what kind of person would I be if I did do this or where would that have led me? For instance, before I was born my dad wanted to call me Jamal, a very typical Black name, but my brother wanted me to be named something different(He was 13 at the time) so he thought of a name that was not common for a black person to be named and he came up with Ryan. My name defines me because I am black but I dont segregate myself to my own race, and my brother told me thats why he named me Ryan, he wanted it to define me. I know, smart thinking for a 13 year old.

I know Im preaching to the choir because we all have felt that way some point in our lives about our destinies but like I said before I have always felt this way. The problem with being very different from other people you find it hard to find your place in the world and that sense of loneliness. I am very anxious about the future and I know very well that I shouldnt be because God does have a plan for me and its up to me to make the right choices.

I guess Im also preaching to the people who read this as well to not worry about what your future holds and as cliche as it sounds God does have a plan. Once again Matthew 6:25-34. I really need to start living by that verse because I worry to damn much. Work with the talents that God has given you and whatever comes at you make sure you make the right choice because even the smallest, simplest one can effect our entire destiny. Its both deep and somewhat cliche, but its true.......

Summer Update....

well, nothing too big except I GOT MY FIRST PAYCHECK!!!!!....not that this is the first paycheck i have ever gotten mind you, its just the first this summer. Also, Greta, the Hall Director for Clark, left on Sunday to go back to her home in California since she is officially done with graduate school. I am really going to miss her.

Lets see, I had my annual family reunion last sunday during memorial day weekend and that was great as always. I got about $50 from awesome relatives that used towards food. Of course, I still cant wait for Harry Potter: the last book and the latest movie. Work is the same, but its never boring even though we do the same stuff all the time and there are days where it is different.

Oh, and I have come to the realization that I need to read the Bible more. its been a while excluding Lent because that was a promise but I want to read it out of my own jurisdiction. i feel that it would really help determine my identity for what I shall become for the rest of my life because I have realized that I am 20 now and need to start thinking about what the future will hold for me as an independent person.

Also, everyone who reads this needs to checkout my friend Ben's awesome website that he helped create at his summer internship: Its amazing!!! You get to create your own songs on the internet with drums, guitar, and pianos. Be patient with it because its still under construction, but it should be finished by the end of the summer.

Well, so far so good for me, I hope everyone else is doing well......