Monday, October 30, 2006
Star Wars.....
On a lighter note though, this weekend we will be showing all 6 Star Wars films in order chronologically on a big projector screen. AWESOME!!!!!!!
Crying for those Green Pastures.....
They say that there are only certain times when a an cries. Some examples are a faily tragedy, when his girlfriend or wife is the only one around, or he is alone. Me, I am sitting here in my dorm room alone so its ok for me to cry. Well, there reason I am in my room crying is not because I have lost almost any game at the dorm that I have played an RA at or the fact that I am hating astronomy, it is because of the past weekend.....
The stress started on Friday when I was totally unaware that anything would happen to me since I was really looking forward to this weekend: it was the last weekend before halloween and Clark Hall Association was hosting a Masquerade Ball to celebrate. I had my costume, all the food and donations were sent so everything was set. The only thing that might have made me sad was that some people I knew werent coming. No, not just you andy and ben, but other people I knew as well, but it honestly didnt bother me a lot. So, we are getting ready on Friday and matt griffeth was picking up the food and low and behold, Little Ceasars denied making any kind of agreement with me and only gave us half of what we had asked and gotten confirmed for. Carl and I were pissed. And The Tomato completely forgot our order and it got here very late during the ball. Other than that the ball was fun and I had a blast. Even though there was barely any people there, the people who were there made it very special and I thank them.
Well, i guess you could say I had a bit too much fun because the very next morning I was very sick. It has been going around the dorm for months so I wasnt too surprised by it and was just going to take medicine and let it run its course. That was the biggest disappointment of that day apart from no one being in the dorm. It was dead. It was like the ideal weekend for everyone to leave and go someowhere. Barely anyone was here.....
Sunday was just the pinnacle of disappointment. It began as my fault because I had procrastinated on this 4 page paper that I was supposed to do for my film class, so, being that I was still sick, I decided to get on that. I had about 2 and a half pages done when my phone rings and it was my dad. He was just calling to remind me about what we are going to do for thanksgiving. After that, he starts striking up a general conversation about how I am doing in school and in life and as usual he starts asking me if I have been to any black parties. I have already had an on and off bad weekend so I tell him that I did not want to talk about that again, and then he gives me the "You should be more connected with your race lecture" and says something that I will never forget, and I dont think he knows how uch he affected me, "I wish you were more like that...." Its like he did not even like the way I am. I love my dad, but sometimes he says things that I know he doesnt mean but doesnt realize how much words can hurt......
So the rest of the day and some of this day I have been in a slump. I have been on and off hammered down because of it and if anyone is reading this and has seen me today, Im sorry you had to see me like that. Like my dad, I am sort of sensitive to certain things and they dwell on me sometimes no matter how much I dont want them to. Sorry....
Well, tomorrow is another and I hate that most of y blogs comprise of me being depressed, but if I am happy or sad I do write about it, its just it seems that it is depression season because I have also been doubting my leadership as president, but I have pushed that aside because that is just dumb little satan talking. Anyway, I am in my room right venting on these events that have happened this weekend and I feel that I will be better tomorrow. I am reminded of Psalm 23 and this semester has dealt with my emotions so much that I am still going to carry on. So I am crying, crying for those green pastures.....
The stress started on Friday when I was totally unaware that anything would happen to me since I was really looking forward to this weekend: it was the last weekend before halloween and Clark Hall Association was hosting a Masquerade Ball to celebrate. I had my costume, all the food and donations were sent so everything was set. The only thing that might have made me sad was that some people I knew werent coming. No, not just you andy and ben, but other people I knew as well, but it honestly didnt bother me a lot. So, we are getting ready on Friday and matt griffeth was picking up the food and low and behold, Little Ceasars denied making any kind of agreement with me and only gave us half of what we had asked and gotten confirmed for. Carl and I were pissed. And The Tomato completely forgot our order and it got here very late during the ball. Other than that the ball was fun and I had a blast. Even though there was barely any people there, the people who were there made it very special and I thank them.
Well, i guess you could say I had a bit too much fun because the very next morning I was very sick. It has been going around the dorm for months so I wasnt too surprised by it and was just going to take medicine and let it run its course. That was the biggest disappointment of that day apart from no one being in the dorm. It was dead. It was like the ideal weekend for everyone to leave and go someowhere. Barely anyone was here.....
Sunday was just the pinnacle of disappointment. It began as my fault because I had procrastinated on this 4 page paper that I was supposed to do for my film class, so, being that I was still sick, I decided to get on that. I had about 2 and a half pages done when my phone rings and it was my dad. He was just calling to remind me about what we are going to do for thanksgiving. After that, he starts striking up a general conversation about how I am doing in school and in life and as usual he starts asking me if I have been to any black parties. I have already had an on and off bad weekend so I tell him that I did not want to talk about that again, and then he gives me the "You should be more connected with your race lecture" and says something that I will never forget, and I dont think he knows how uch he affected me, "I wish you were more like that...." Its like he did not even like the way I am. I love my dad, but sometimes he says things that I know he doesnt mean but doesnt realize how much words can hurt......
So the rest of the day and some of this day I have been in a slump. I have been on and off hammered down because of it and if anyone is reading this and has seen me today, Im sorry you had to see me like that. Like my dad, I am sort of sensitive to certain things and they dwell on me sometimes no matter how much I dont want them to. Sorry....
Well, tomorrow is another and I hate that most of y blogs comprise of me being depressed, but if I am happy or sad I do write about it, its just it seems that it is depression season because I have also been doubting my leadership as president, but I have pushed that aside because that is just dumb little satan talking. Anyway, I am in my room right venting on these events that have happened this weekend and I feel that I will be better tomorrow. I am reminded of Psalm 23 and this semester has dealt with my emotions so much that I am still going to carry on. So I am crying, crying for those green pastures.....
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Connection...two...
Once again I am depressed and, yes, once again its because of my parents. Its nothing too big this time, its just usual stuff that they keep telling me that aggravates me. If you read my previous blog, Connection, you will understand what I am again going to talk about....
Ok, so while I was at home, my parents gave me this whole lecture on how they are concerned about how connected to my roots as a black man. I do understand that I am black and with that skin color comes a lot of history and consequence. What really got me was how they were trying to make it seem that it was "ok" that I was hanging out with a predominantly mixed group of people. Now, don't get mad at my parents, you have to understand where they are coming from. My mom grew up in Birmingham, Alabama during the fifties and sixties, so she is very grounded and has a good handle on the world. My dad grew up in Wichita Falls, Texas and he was more out-going than my mom and dealt with racism a lot more first-hand. So, I fully understand where they are coming from but its just the fact that my brother and I never had to deal with the horrible prejudice that they had to deal with and I feel that sometimes that when I hangout with different races they feel somewhat threatened....
As I have said in Connection, I feel that one of the purposes in my life as I feel it should be in everyone else's lives is to break the racial barriers that surround us. It makes humanity so much harder to deal with. So it just depresses me sometimes when it seems my parents will always see those barriers that will separate people. It goes with other people. WAKE UP!!! As long as God is in charge, I really doubt that humanity will change. Even if every race except white was killed off, thousands of years later another race would spawn. That was just my little scifi excerpt. As Edward Norton once said, "You can't change the world, but you can make a dent." I dont know about you, but I wish to be that dent in the world even if sometimes my parents disapprove....
Ok, so while I was at home, my parents gave me this whole lecture on how they are concerned about how connected to my roots as a black man. I do understand that I am black and with that skin color comes a lot of history and consequence. What really got me was how they were trying to make it seem that it was "ok" that I was hanging out with a predominantly mixed group of people. Now, don't get mad at my parents, you have to understand where they are coming from. My mom grew up in Birmingham, Alabama during the fifties and sixties, so she is very grounded and has a good handle on the world. My dad grew up in Wichita Falls, Texas and he was more out-going than my mom and dealt with racism a lot more first-hand. So, I fully understand where they are coming from but its just the fact that my brother and I never had to deal with the horrible prejudice that they had to deal with and I feel that sometimes that when I hangout with different races they feel somewhat threatened....
As I have said in Connection, I feel that one of the purposes in my life as I feel it should be in everyone else's lives is to break the racial barriers that surround us. It makes humanity so much harder to deal with. So it just depresses me sometimes when it seems my parents will always see those barriers that will separate people. It goes with other people. WAKE UP!!! As long as God is in charge, I really doubt that humanity will change. Even if every race except white was killed off, thousands of years later another race would spawn. That was just my little scifi excerpt. As Edward Norton once said, "You can't change the world, but you can make a dent." I dont know about you, but I wish to be that dent in the world even if sometimes my parents disapprove....
Friday, October 20, 2006
Im Still Alive....
Dont worry Im still here, its just that soooo many different, weird, and awesome things have been going on so far which has just had me on the go. I know I said that homecoming was over, but things I have done to compensate for all of the hard work were just awesome and thrilling...
Well, I skipped some classes that I should not have skipped during homecoming week because of how much homecoming demanded of me and I promised myself that the next I would not do that and go to every single one of my classes, which if you have read my past blog, Scheduling Frenzy, it is not an easy thing to do, but I succeeded and I knew it would pay off because I was going to something that weekend which would really be a reward for me for homecoming....
GOING TO THE FAIR!!!! The fair is not just a big thing for Texas, but it is also a huge deal for me and my family as well. According to my parents, I have not missed a fair date since I was born, so I have been to the fair 19 times, wow!!! When I heard that a huge group of my college friends like andy and johnny o had never gone to the fair, literally fell over dead.....nah, Im just messin with ya, but serioulsy....I was shocked and appalled at this, so I got Andy to arrange a day when we go to the fair. We went on the 14th and it could not have been a better day. We saw and did one of everything: we got food, rode rides, bought stuff, and rode the ferris wheel, which Texas is known for since it is the biggest in the nation. After, the fun the main event came along....Jars of Clay. They played at the fair and honestly this was the first concert I had ever been to and was ecstatic because it could not have been with a better band. These guys were awesome and really got the crowd riled up and it got me wound up as well. It was insanely awesome!!!....
After the fair the hardwork began because I then realized that I had two tests on Tuesday. Now, these werent just normal tests, these were tests in my hardest classes on the same day, damn!!! I told everyone from then on that after Tuesday the 16th, i would be good because I knew that day would live in infamy and it did. It started out fine, my first test, Astronomy, went better than i expected. The problem was history because all it comprised of was essay. I felt bad about it because after the test I heard how people had written ten pages worth and i only wrote four, but they were four good pages which is all that matters right? I hope so...What ended the stressful day was when my dvd remote died and it wasnt because of dead batteries, it just died, no more remote I had to get another one....
Which brings me to today. No, I am not writing this blog at Clark, I am currently at home writing this on the home computer. I am home because my family misses me, typical, so I decided to come home for a night, spend time with them, and head back the next morning. But I am not going home empty handed, which brings me back to the remote....I manipulated, wait "manipulated" is such a strong word...I asked my parents if they could get me a universal remote and they agreed. I cant go into long detail on how I got them to do it, but if you ask me in person I will tell you. So I am on my way to wal-mart to buy it, I buy it, leave, and just as I am getting on the intersection without a traffic light, a multitude of cars pass by and I am blinded by their lights since its dark, and it looks like they are all turning into wal-mart so I can go....as I go a car, out of nowhere, comes up and literally comes inches away from crashing into me on the driver's side. Needless to say, I could have died instantaneously. I felt so dumb and stupid for that. Sometimes I feel I just dont deserve God's love and He just gave me a huge, "WRONG!!!" by a near-death experience. Wow!!!
So by nearly dying of shock, cotton candy, concert-craze, 2 tests, and an actual near-death experience, I truly think its a miracle that Im still alive....
Well, I skipped some classes that I should not have skipped during homecoming week because of how much homecoming demanded of me and I promised myself that the next I would not do that and go to every single one of my classes, which if you have read my past blog, Scheduling Frenzy, it is not an easy thing to do, but I succeeded and I knew it would pay off because I was going to something that weekend which would really be a reward for me for homecoming....
GOING TO THE FAIR!!!! The fair is not just a big thing for Texas, but it is also a huge deal for me and my family as well. According to my parents, I have not missed a fair date since I was born, so I have been to the fair 19 times, wow!!! When I heard that a huge group of my college friends like andy and johnny o had never gone to the fair, literally fell over dead.....nah, Im just messin with ya, but serioulsy....I was shocked and appalled at this, so I got Andy to arrange a day when we go to the fair. We went on the 14th and it could not have been a better day. We saw and did one of everything: we got food, rode rides, bought stuff, and rode the ferris wheel, which Texas is known for since it is the biggest in the nation. After, the fun the main event came along....Jars of Clay. They played at the fair and honestly this was the first concert I had ever been to and was ecstatic because it could not have been with a better band. These guys were awesome and really got the crowd riled up and it got me wound up as well. It was insanely awesome!!!....
After the fair the hardwork began because I then realized that I had two tests on Tuesday. Now, these werent just normal tests, these were tests in my hardest classes on the same day, damn!!! I told everyone from then on that after Tuesday the 16th, i would be good because I knew that day would live in infamy and it did. It started out fine, my first test, Astronomy, went better than i expected. The problem was history because all it comprised of was essay. I felt bad about it because after the test I heard how people had written ten pages worth and i only wrote four, but they were four good pages which is all that matters right? I hope so...What ended the stressful day was when my dvd remote died and it wasnt because of dead batteries, it just died, no more remote I had to get another one....
Which brings me to today. No, I am not writing this blog at Clark, I am currently at home writing this on the home computer. I am home because my family misses me, typical, so I decided to come home for a night, spend time with them, and head back the next morning. But I am not going home empty handed, which brings me back to the remote....I manipulated, wait "manipulated" is such a strong word...I asked my parents if they could get me a universal remote and they agreed. I cant go into long detail on how I got them to do it, but if you ask me in person I will tell you. So I am on my way to wal-mart to buy it, I buy it, leave, and just as I am getting on the intersection without a traffic light, a multitude of cars pass by and I am blinded by their lights since its dark, and it looks like they are all turning into wal-mart so I can go....as I go a car, out of nowhere, comes up and literally comes inches away from crashing into me on the driver's side. Needless to say, I could have died instantaneously. I felt so dumb and stupid for that. Sometimes I feel I just dont deserve God's love and He just gave me a huge, "WRONG!!!" by a near-death experience. Wow!!!
So by nearly dying of shock, cotton candy, concert-craze, 2 tests, and an actual near-death experience, I truly think its a miracle that Im still alive....
Sunday, October 08, 2006
7=Perfection according to God....
In the bible, God created the world in seven days and according to Him it was perfect on the seventh day. Now, throughout my life I have always considered this number to be perfect if God has said so....
Ok, now to the relevance of this. I know that our football team is not the greatest.....man, what am I saying, we suck. So, our homecoming game starts at 6pm and I decided not to go because even though we were playing a team that was 0-5, I just did not have all the confidence. That was until I decided to see what Andy was doing and found out he was going to the game at 7:30, so not to feel lonely I decided to go.....
Ok, I have always thought that I bring an auora of bad luck to the team I am ruiting for, and sure enough that was tested once I stepped onto our field and surfe enough the other team scored their first touchdown which put them ahead. Damn. So the game goes on and stricking it turns around when we make a miraculous touchdown to put us ahead with a minute and 25 seconds left in the fourth quater. YES!!!! Until, they scored a field goal to tie us up. Overtime. Ok, I was really anxious but not too much because I knew we would win and it would be over in no time.....
WRONG!!!!!!!, Ok, the game stayed tied and we went into the second overtime. Tied again, third overtime. this time, we should have won, but the ball bounced off the field goal. Fourth overtime, tied again, Fifth overtime. By this time, anxiousness was a huge understatement for what everyone, who decided to stay, were feeling at this moment. Sixth overtime. What was funny to me was that all of the points that each team was getting were all through field goals not touchdowns and each field goal were close-calls for us meaning we could have won, but alas. Seventh overtime. At this point, I was praying to God and asking him why this was happening, then it hit me. 7. Its perfection. And my philosophy was correct, WE WON!!!!!!!!
This was indeed the most interesting games/homecoming games that I have ever been to or seen. It was the classic battle between the worst teams going at it, which maybe the reason why it took so long, but who cares, WE WON!!!!! Everyone rushed to the field because it was such an awesome end to a crazy week. Now, I can rest because it truly is over.
You see, there is a God....
Ok, now to the relevance of this. I know that our football team is not the greatest.....man, what am I saying, we suck. So, our homecoming game starts at 6pm and I decided not to go because even though we were playing a team that was 0-5, I just did not have all the confidence. That was until I decided to see what Andy was doing and found out he was going to the game at 7:30, so not to feel lonely I decided to go.....
Ok, I have always thought that I bring an auora of bad luck to the team I am ruiting for, and sure enough that was tested once I stepped onto our field and surfe enough the other team scored their first touchdown which put them ahead. Damn. So the game goes on and stricking it turns around when we make a miraculous touchdown to put us ahead with a minute and 25 seconds left in the fourth quater. YES!!!! Until, they scored a field goal to tie us up. Overtime. Ok, I was really anxious but not too much because I knew we would win and it would be over in no time.....
WRONG!!!!!!!, Ok, the game stayed tied and we went into the second overtime. Tied again, third overtime. this time, we should have won, but the ball bounced off the field goal. Fourth overtime, tied again, Fifth overtime. By this time, anxiousness was a huge understatement for what everyone, who decided to stay, were feeling at this moment. Sixth overtime. What was funny to me was that all of the points that each team was getting were all through field goals not touchdowns and each field goal were close-calls for us meaning we could have won, but alas. Seventh overtime. At this point, I was praying to God and asking him why this was happening, then it hit me. 7. Its perfection. And my philosophy was correct, WE WON!!!!!!!!
This was indeed the most interesting games/homecoming games that I have ever been to or seen. It was the classic battle between the worst teams going at it, which maybe the reason why it took so long, but who cares, WE WON!!!!! Everyone rushed to the field because it was such an awesome end to a crazy week. Now, I can rest because it truly is over.
You see, there is a God....
Saturday, October 07, 2006
IT'S OVER!!!!!!!.......almost....
FINALLY, Homecoming is over and I can rest and concentrate on more important things, like my life. Dont get me wrong, I had a blast working on all of the events: Mini-bonfire, Spirit Wall, Chalk the Walk, and Yell Like Hell.
Speaking of Yell Like Hell, it was awesome!!! of course we were nervous in the beginning, but once we got up there it was like we were stepping into a world of our own and that is really what it felt like. You know, I really don't care that we didnt win Yell Like Hell, the point is that we did an amazing job and I am so proud of everyone who participated and worked their asses off just to have fun. Oh, Im also glad that West Hall or Maple Hall didnt win. They're our rivals.
Im not sure, but Ill bet we got points for being very original with our chant and dance. We danced to an MC Hammer song, "Walk Like an Egyptian", "Achy, Braky Heart" and the song from Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Needless to say, it was awesome!!!
Now all that is left is the game and Im still debating on whether Im going to go. So Homecoing is almost over.....
Speaking of Yell Like Hell, it was awesome!!! of course we were nervous in the beginning, but once we got up there it was like we were stepping into a world of our own and that is really what it felt like. You know, I really don't care that we didnt win Yell Like Hell, the point is that we did an amazing job and I am so proud of everyone who participated and worked their asses off just to have fun. Oh, Im also glad that West Hall or Maple Hall didnt win. They're our rivals.
Im not sure, but Ill bet we got points for being very original with our chant and dance. We danced to an MC Hammer song, "Walk Like an Egyptian", "Achy, Braky Heart" and the song from Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Needless to say, it was awesome!!!
Now all that is left is the game and Im still debating on whether Im going to go. So Homecoing is almost over.....
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