Friday, May 25, 2007
Pirates!!!!!!!
Pirates 3 was amazing and Im not just saying that, it actually was amazing!!! It blew the second way out of the water (no pun intended). There was just sooo much awesomeness in this one and it renewed my love for the the films. I think it actually gave the first one a run for its money. Im not a person who usually thinks that sequels even compare to the first in the series so this is one of those rare moments......
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
My Job....
Man, I love my job. It may not be the best job in the world, but hey its a job!!! It may pay minimum wage, but hey, its a job!!! I may just be cleaning rooms, but hey......its a job!!!!!!
Seriously, I do love this job. A job that entails cleaning rooms may be trivial to some but I have an awesome group of people to hang out with and they all feel the same way about this job. If we didnt have each other, this job would suck BIG time. We are forced to see each other every day for a total of 91 days during the summer and I am pretty sure we will be ok with that.
Like I have said before this is a learning experience for me since I am working away from home. God will test since Im only twenty and I hope Im prepared, but at the same time he has given me a good support group that feels the same way I would feel in a situation pertaining to my job. Of course, its only the first week and a half but a lot has gotten me going and how much I need to learn from this job no matter how trivial it is. It keeps me going.
Its a good thing that I have my own room now so that I am able to contemplate things more fully.....
I hope everyone I know or who knows me is having a great summer!!! Hit me up if you want to talk!!!!
Seriously, I do love this job. A job that entails cleaning rooms may be trivial to some but I have an awesome group of people to hang out with and they all feel the same way about this job. If we didnt have each other, this job would suck BIG time. We are forced to see each other every day for a total of 91 days during the summer and I am pretty sure we will be ok with that.
Like I have said before this is a learning experience for me since I am working away from home. God will test since Im only twenty and I hope Im prepared, but at the same time he has given me a good support group that feels the same way I would feel in a situation pertaining to my job. Of course, its only the first week and a half but a lot has gotten me going and how much I need to learn from this job no matter how trivial it is. It keeps me going.
Its a good thing that I have my own room now so that I am able to contemplate things more fully.....
I hope everyone I know or who knows me is having a great summer!!! Hit me up if you want to talk!!!!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Summer......
Well, summer is here and I think that it is not going to suck this year. The main reason why is that I am not home and here on campus working. Yeah, I know that there are going to be days where being here is going to be boring but the way I see it is that I would rather be here than at home.
To me, this is a growing experience for me since I am working and also away from home. It might sound corny, but Im loving the independence and being here with friends. This weekend, everyone left and I am basically sitting here in West by myself. Its only the first weekend and every one is gone. I can understand that its summer and everyone here wants to really START their vacation but Im really loving this relaxing time right now, since it gives me a chance to evaluate things in my life.
My job is fun for the most part. The only strenuous thing is the same cleaning routine at every dorm but I sense that everyone else on the CA crew feels the same as me so we all have no room to complain and we have fun with it which is awesome. Well, I have all summer and this weekend is only the first of many. I hope everyone has an awesome summer!!! I want to take a road trip somewhere with some friends, I might arrange that......
To me, this is a growing experience for me since I am working and also away from home. It might sound corny, but Im loving the independence and being here with friends. This weekend, everyone left and I am basically sitting here in West by myself. Its only the first weekend and every one is gone. I can understand that its summer and everyone here wants to really START their vacation but Im really loving this relaxing time right now, since it gives me a chance to evaluate things in my life.
My job is fun for the most part. The only strenuous thing is the same cleaning routine at every dorm but I sense that everyone else on the CA crew feels the same as me so we all have no room to complain and we have fun with it which is awesome. Well, I have all summer and this weekend is only the first of many. I hope everyone has an awesome summer!!! I want to take a road trip somewhere with some friends, I might arrange that......
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Geez!!!!......
Why am I so emotional? This is suppose to be a happy day!!! Im done with Finals, my parents are proud of me, Im going to have an awesome summer with friends and Im going to be an RA, so what the hell?!!!!
I know that some part of it is because of my brother of course, but his condition is 100% cure-able. Also, it might be that Im leaving Clark and Ive never been a person who has an easy time dealing with change, but c'mon its going to get better, right? YEP!!!!
I hope to God that Im not turning Emo!!! Oh man, my worst fear would come true. So, why am I dwelling on superficial things when I know that God would never let me down? I just dont know
I need to stop dwelling in the past and focus on the present. So what if I had bad things in the past, I need to learn from them and brush it aside. As for the future, I shouldnt worry because I know there's a plan for me out there.
Ive been on and off with this all year and now, at the end, its starting to get on my nerves. Is God trying to teach me about coping with my strong emotions and learn how to control them?
Ive been treating my friends like crap lately and getting angry over the most stupid stuff. Im sure its more annoying for them than it is for me. Im sorry guys.
This can not happen next year. This was a test and I barely past. I really need to get over myself, especially if Im going to be an RA. I really do hate feeling this way and I know that its not me and who I truly am........
I know that some part of it is because of my brother of course, but his condition is 100% cure-able. Also, it might be that Im leaving Clark and Ive never been a person who has an easy time dealing with change, but c'mon its going to get better, right? YEP!!!!
I hope to God that Im not turning Emo!!! Oh man, my worst fear would come true. So, why am I dwelling on superficial things when I know that God would never let me down? I just dont know
I need to stop dwelling in the past and focus on the present. So what if I had bad things in the past, I need to learn from them and brush it aside. As for the future, I shouldnt worry because I know there's a plan for me out there.
Ive been on and off with this all year and now, at the end, its starting to get on my nerves. Is God trying to teach me about coping with my strong emotions and learn how to control them?
Ive been treating my friends like crap lately and getting angry over the most stupid stuff. Im sure its more annoying for them than it is for me. Im sorry guys.
This can not happen next year. This was a test and I barely past. I really need to get over myself, especially if Im going to be an RA. I really do hate feeling this way and I know that its not me and who I truly am........
Monday, May 07, 2007
Read this.....
This is a passage from a fellow blogger who is a friend of mine. He is also going through some rough times as well. I havent talk to him lately because I feel that I dont want to burden him with sympathy about my situation. Anyway, it a good passage that made me think about my faith and my relationship with God, plus how other people relate to Him. Warning: It is kind of depressing, but the root of it is good. Judge whether you agree or not......
It's a hard line. It requires more than it looks. The worst part is dealing with how far is too far. How far do you go before you have to step out of the box? I find that most times, the biggest reason people can't walk that is because they don't enough about what they believe to do it. We sacrifice our love for things that we don't fully understand under the assumption that we're standing for what we believe in. It's what you do in America, right? You sacrifice the group for personal happiness. This is what we're taught; this is how we live our lives. This is why the Church failed. It's why I no longer have a desire to get to know to people.
So much of my heart feels so hardened toward others. I can't help but feel this gigantic pain that never ceases. Walking outside, the wind blew through my hair. It pretended to refresh me and give me hope. The wind had something in it that desired to revitalize me. It was as if it had a purpose, but it had no reason. The wind didn't direct itself to find me. It had no choice. It filled it's own desire to be needed and left me unfulfilled, wanting more.
That's the way I see things now-a-days. We watch shows that give us hope that there's more to life, but what if we just came to realization that there isn't more. We aren't connected to each other on a personal level. Our desire is to find someone that we can use to give us our own high. Then we leave them. They've filled our egos. They've filled our self-centered hopefulness, and slowly, we've forgotten what's really going on. There's no longer a church. It has become a group of individuals that use each other for personal gain.
What destroys me is when I choose to talk to people about it. The church has failed, and we do nothing to change it. I feel the need to say that the bride of Christ has cancer. It's the cancer of pride, of egotism, of narcissism. So let's pretend like everything's ok. I'm dying inside. It hurts to continue to walk. It hurts to continue to fight this battle. I wish things could change. I pray that it one day does. America badly needs the eastern missionaries to show us what love is or to show us what a community really is.
I spent some time thinking, looking into my different relationships, revising them if you must. For the Dentonites, the one that I thought was my most valuable turned out to be the most abusive. "How's it going?" is the question asked of me, and all I can think about is "Why do you care?" I know their answer to it. I do. I don't like it one bit, but the truth remains. It's a question that doesn't have to be directly answered. Actions are more noticable than we think. For the Del Rioans, I no longer feel that I have a right to be involved. I've left. That town is a place that I no longer consider home. It's a place where my parents live, but it's not my home. I am no longer active, and so I have no right to believe I have value.
For the most part, burdens hurt, but why should you care? I believe Lawrence was right. Elliott Smith saved us all.
*EDIT* P.S.: Before there is any confusion, when I say that the church failed, I blame the church. This includes myself. Therefore, I blame myself as well as others. My own shortcomings help to add to the failure. I do not claim superiority as a christian. I am probably the worst of us all, though we are no better than anyone else, and that includes John Wayne Gacy and Cho (the guy that mass murdered Virginia Tech).
It's a hard line. It requires more than it looks. The worst part is dealing with how far is too far. How far do you go before you have to step out of the box? I find that most times, the biggest reason people can't walk that is because they don't enough about what they believe to do it. We sacrifice our love for things that we don't fully understand under the assumption that we're standing for what we believe in. It's what you do in America, right? You sacrifice the group for personal happiness. This is what we're taught; this is how we live our lives. This is why the Church failed. It's why I no longer have a desire to get to know to people.
So much of my heart feels so hardened toward others. I can't help but feel this gigantic pain that never ceases. Walking outside, the wind blew through my hair. It pretended to refresh me and give me hope. The wind had something in it that desired to revitalize me. It was as if it had a purpose, but it had no reason. The wind didn't direct itself to find me. It had no choice. It filled it's own desire to be needed and left me unfulfilled, wanting more.
That's the way I see things now-a-days. We watch shows that give us hope that there's more to life, but what if we just came to realization that there isn't more. We aren't connected to each other on a personal level. Our desire is to find someone that we can use to give us our own high. Then we leave them. They've filled our egos. They've filled our self-centered hopefulness, and slowly, we've forgotten what's really going on. There's no longer a church. It has become a group of individuals that use each other for personal gain.
What destroys me is when I choose to talk to people about it. The church has failed, and we do nothing to change it. I feel the need to say that the bride of Christ has cancer. It's the cancer of pride, of egotism, of narcissism. So let's pretend like everything's ok. I'm dying inside. It hurts to continue to walk. It hurts to continue to fight this battle. I wish things could change. I pray that it one day does. America badly needs the eastern missionaries to show us what love is or to show us what a community really is.
I spent some time thinking, looking into my different relationships, revising them if you must. For the Dentonites, the one that I thought was my most valuable turned out to be the most abusive. "How's it going?" is the question asked of me, and all I can think about is "Why do you care?" I know their answer to it. I do. I don't like it one bit, but the truth remains. It's a question that doesn't have to be directly answered. Actions are more noticable than we think. For the Del Rioans, I no longer feel that I have a right to be involved. I've left. That town is a place that I no longer consider home. It's a place where my parents live, but it's not my home. I am no longer active, and so I have no right to believe I have value.
For the most part, burdens hurt, but why should you care? I believe Lawrence was right. Elliott Smith saved us all.
*EDIT* P.S.: Before there is any confusion, when I say that the church failed, I blame the church. This includes myself. Therefore, I blame myself as well as others. My own shortcomings help to add to the failure. I do not claim superiority as a christian. I am probably the worst of us all, though we are no better than anyone else, and that includes John Wayne Gacy and Cho (the guy that mass murdered Virginia Tech).
One of my favorites......
This is one of my favorite quotes from the Gospel according to Matthew because I try every day to live by this quote, and it is just one of those moments where I really realize how deep Jesus was. It is kind of long......
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
My Idol....
If you ever ask me who my idol is, I would always tell that it would be my brother. He has always been there for me and has never let me down at anything. He is a person that I would not hesitate to take a bullet for and Im sure he feels the same for me.
My family, on my dad's side has a history of prostate cancer and my brother went to get a check up and the doctor told him that he does have traces of it and should immediately take care of it. So, he is going to have surgery this summer. Ive been a little distressed about this and it doesnt help that its Finals week. He told me not to worry about it even though he knows I am. I will continually pray for him......
My family, on my dad's side has a history of prostate cancer and my brother went to get a check up and the doctor told him that he does have traces of it and should immediately take care of it. So, he is going to have surgery this summer. Ive been a little distressed about this and it doesnt help that its Finals week. He told me not to worry about it even though he knows I am. I will continually pray for him......
9=Mozart
Well, as if those who know me dont already know, after 9 interviews at every single hall on campus that I could interview at, the last hall to interview me, got me, Mozart Square!!! Im really excited because Im in the system and the community of RAs. I know it sounds nerdy, but I think that Im going to enjoy it. Who wouldnt? free room and board and you get your own room and best of all, Ill be working in an upper-classman dorm and it has amazing rooms. Plus, the president of Maple, the dorm next to Clark, will be working with me as well. I feel very lucky to have been the only one to have received an interview from every hall, at least thats what Carl told me.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)